Bullshit, you don’t hear the baby!
Today, I call BULLSHIT! I call this annoying and loving combined. Today is the old husband vs wife battle. One in the labor field “actually working” and one is home with the baby “working.” (maternity leave, stay at home mom, etc.) I can attest to both three kids later, BOTH are hard! Both have different struggles, both exhausting. Now, when your husband is a business-owning funeral director this brings a whole different light into the picture (to be discussed later). This is not here nor there but either way, three nights in a row of those middle of the night wakes- Mamma needs a break! It is now 3am and the whining and movement begins. I, of course, immediately hear it and peek my eye to the right side and patiently wait for my dear husband to GET THE HELL UP! I do not believe in hard sleep, I don't believe in snoring! Like, let’s go buddy, throw me a frickin bone here! So, naturally my (delco) temper is up and I annoyingly sigh and get the baby. IN which, now he wakes and says “I will feed him…” Well, I'm annoyed and awake, and now have leaky boobs soooo “No, thanks.” (insert eye roll) I start to feed the baby, say some prayers in my head and my blood pressure slowly starts to lower. I know he is a hard worker, I know he needs sleep and I know he means well…but I still call Bullshit on not hearing the baby.
I think dealing with the newborn phase is THE biggest test in a marriage. The beauty and bliss of this creature you both created is of course amazing and beautiful and all that good stuff; however, when your sleep, every move, plans and physical body are toyed with the rainbow of beauty tends to darken a bit at times. A full night's sleep is no more, that happy hour with friends is shortened or just non-existent, a shower is a commodity, and netflix and chill is a thing of the past. These changes combined is a recipe for resentment, anger, sadness and your ‘little green monster’ inside yourself comes out. Sleep deprivation really causes your alter ego to come out.
I have to say, as many mixed emotions as I do have, I am more easily able to handle these emotions (at times) now more than with my first two. It is a balance and all about communication. Like I tell my kids, always find a way to put others needs first and think about others feelings in conjunction with your own. Also, as learned through therapy: your husband does not know what is in your head. Any expectation that you have- SPELL IT OUT! It may sound daunting and annoying, but speak out your expectations and needs so you have less anger, resentment and you don’t have to call bullshit!